i really like you!

hellow bloggy!

some days life surprises you in ways you never ever expect it to..sometimes when you expect brickbats for an action of yours and you end up getting appreciation for it you just cannot stop smiling to your ownself!..something like that happened to me today...

being from a typical indian family where a girl crossing 25 and not getting married is a big question i am most of the time bombarded by my family and relatives with profiles of eligible bachelors ..well nothing special about that ..(there is always an option to reject !)..i mean so far i never got serious about this stuff and kept on dillydallying the whole process...still when it became a daily ritual i created a ruckus at home...clearly stated my wish to have some time finding my ownself before saying "i do"...finally they had to bend down to me...

now what does a normal girl get after doing such things....well to my surprise my mom called me today and said something she has never said to me in my whole life and that was "i really like you!"..and i was like "mom why??"...and she said" i like the fact that you can do things you want to do the way you want to...you are not scared of uncertainities in life...you have the courage to say no when you really want to say no without giving it a second thought...you are independent in the true sense...you have your preferences and you have the guts to stick to them no matter what i or your dad says...you have friends whom we may disapprove of but that does nt deter you from having them in your life..you are confident of your choices...be like this always!"

and i could only feel my eyes wet...all through my life i have may be annoyed my mom dad by my weird decisions ..by my choices ..but at the end of the day when they say that they really like me for what i am i cannot help but feel proud of my self..!!!

PS: i love you mom dad!

i am upset!

hi bloggy,

m upset!..and really really upset...how could they do that to me...i mean i accept i act a bit weird at times..but that doesnt mean they call me "aunty!"..i mean the kids in the nearby building ..

i was returning to my building from office and suddenly i saw three or four kids with a doggy...they held the chain of that doggy who started barking the moment he saw me...i being petrified of that creature looked at the kids for some assurance...and i got the assurance of my life when one of the kids shouted" aunty daro mat! ye kisi ko bite nahi karta!"

now how do i explain it to a five year old kid that i am not afraid of the dog bite but afraid of being called aunty!!!...ufffff...

i mean i came home and examined myself from up to down...where had i gone wrong...????....didnt realise when the transition from didi to aunty occurred!!!...ohhh god!

my only solace came when another friend too complained about the fact that kids called her aunty too...and i dont find her aunty at all..or wait may be i do!!...but no not me....not now at least!!!

its just the female "i never want to grow old syndrome " i guess!!

but for now i m really upset!!!pheeww!!...

PS: i have decided to call that kids mom and tell her to teach her kid not to abuse young ladies in public by calling them aunty!

Enabler of change....

hey sweetie!

well a cure to partial insomnia is to get up kick a friend out of bed and get out for a morning walk!!!...believe me when you come back from it you do feel sleepy!!! ha ha !

jokes apart..i have somehow come to believe that the best decisions that have happened in my life have not been taken by me!..yeahh god has given me somethings on his own..things i have wailed about n times but have now realised that they undoubtedly are the best for me..!

and the biggest of them being my profession...i was never an engineer by my choice ..but my field chose me and i ended up being one reluctantly...gradually time made me realise that it is not only the good money i am making in this field or the independence i have achieved due to this job that has made me stick to it..i have actually started liking my work!

it is one of the most imaginative jobs in the world...there are steps of calculation but at the end of the day process designing is how far you can go with what can go wrong ..and trust me its a total brain on high alert kind of job!...one mistake and you could blow the whole plant off!!...

some thing that clicked me happened last week...some one raised some query regarding a work i was involved in..and within no time i was able to give hima solution...i then went with him to my boss and asked him what was to be done..my boss gave the same solution and tht person told him "madam ne bhi yahi bola hai!"..and my boss gave me his rarest of rare smiles!...i just said to myself mentally"not bad!"...well thts just a very very small incident but to me it is the incentive to be here..

moreover i get to explore the creative side of mine and coat it with facts and figures in the regular column i write for our in house magazine...believe me time and patience can take you places ..you may not really know the importance of the job or the place you are in but now when i have started getting offers from other good places solely on the basis of my experience here i can say that the wait and patience have really paid off..!

an engineer as they say is the enabler of change ...and finally i am proud to be one...!!

PS: i still am going to be a full time writer some day..!!

Being religious!

heyy bloggy

this sunday when i went home i met a family friend of mine...amidst our conversation in car we had to stop due to some religious procession going on ....and then she asked me" what do u mean by being religious?"..i actually blinked for some two seconds and then replied " being religious means being good"... she then counter questioned me "how do you define being good?"..and i felt only one line coming to my mind...being religious is being good...being good to everyone around you....thats the only definition of religion my parents have taught me...for me visiting the temple daily ..chanting mantras daily is no sign of being religious....they are after all mere activities..so why not indulge in activities like doing one good deed in your life..making one sad person smile everyday...i guess god appreciates when we take care of his other creations too...

recently i have had a chance of knowing about people who have no scruples about drinking alcohol but yes to purify their souls they have no qualms fasting for fourteen days too..i mean such kind of religiousness is beyond my understanding...

i have never been told that my religion forbids drinking alcohol or eating non vegetarian foods...but yes my family follows them for physical as well as mental health...we are not bound to follow these rules but we choose to follow them...and that is the way i shall be bringing up my kids..

when my mother fasts for nine days in navratri as most Hindu women do, at the end of those days she breaks her fast with a silent prayer without any pomp or show to the world that she has endured hunger and thirst for nine days.. and that i think is fasting in the true sense..it is after all her choice of being religious...

these days i feel more close to god as i feel i am closer to my inner self...my own self where i have made some wrong choices some wrong decisions some hurt ful statements some hurtful actions...and i have cried at times to no one but only my ownself...and that crying has only strengthened my belief that no one but you are the master of your ownself and destiny...

being religious to me today is to be at peace first with your ownself...your own strengths and weaknesses....your own actions ..and even teh actions of others which affect you...the trick is to be able to forgive everyone for everything...let bygones be bygones...

and this positvity has helped me realise that the life i am living right now is the one i always wanted...being independent..on my own feet...being close to mom dad...and finally being the daughter they always wanted me to be,,,..finally understanding their anxiety to see me settled and after hibernating for 25 years i have finally started seeing the profiles they show me...and i was pleasantly surprised to see they have a better choice than me !!!!ha ha ...

we just waste the best time of our life looking out for love outside our family and friends ..and finally end up getting our hearts broken by giving it to the wrong person....the love we look for is in our own hands...with people close to us who love us without conditions in all ways and always...

i guess being in love with your self, your family and friends is also equivalent to being religious...!!!