fearing fear:)

hi sweetie..

the other day i was having a wordly duel with a friend when i very proudly announced " i am scared of nothing!"...to which i got a reply "are not you scared of losing someone ?"...and i felt yes i am scared of losing my loved ones..my friends...and as i kept thinking on these lines , i realised there are hell lot of things that scare me!

the first and the foremost is that i am scared of my own impulsiveness...an ability to say things or commit to everything in a fraction of a second and then regret it later...i need to learn the value of pauses in speeces...pause for a second..reflect and then say what i really want to say..

i am also scared of my restless temperament and the fact that i just dont know how to sit back and relax!...even if my body is shouting for rest yet if a plan to go out for a movie comes around i happily forego the needs of my body ...and later with the lack of proper beauty sleep i am on the verge of depression !!

actually there were n number of things that used to scare me earlier when i was at home...talking to strangers or even enquiring about a bus at the enquiry counter!..may be because basically by nature i can be termed a shy introvert (the people who hear my incessant blabber are the few lucky ones in my life who have had the good fortune of seeing even my extrovert side:):))

but the other day i was just about to open the lock of my apartment when i saw a lizard on the main door...had i been at my own home i would have shouted for dad to help me but here i was alone..so without panicking i just shooed the dirty lizard away..and i was so damn proud of myself:)...we learn to deal with all our fears slowly as life lands us in deeper waters...

i also fear my extremely easily trusting nature...in a world where you cannot even trust your own shadow i end up trusting everyone around me easily...at times my trust has been badly bruised and battered but still this instinct is still the same....i feel no one can be bad despite meeting the crappiest people....

well i guess the only fear in life is fear itself.....every fear that is met bravely gradually goes away..

PS: my greatest fear of ageing has already started with a few grey hair arising :(:(..rightly said old age is womens' hell:):)