Break up breaks..!!!

Break up...a common word..heard from every other person we meet these days..either someone has had a break up or he or she is gearing up for one..either your heart is getting broken or you are breaking someone else's...

the toughest set back to get up from is a break up...people may say that at least the person you have broken up with is still alive and happy(or sad if you have hurt him /her)..but the pain of knowing that person is still somewhere in the same world as you are in but still away from you is bigger than the pain caused when you know that he or she is no more...

the truth of losing the one you have loved with all your might once is hard to accept and the period between a break up and the acceptance that you have had a break up is the most painful one..

love being such a strong force- it has the power to heal as well as the power to kill...it may not literally kill you but somewhere consciously or unconsciously you lose the desire or the ability to fall in love again with the same zest ...it takes a great deal of will power to hand over your once broken heart to someone else..to liven the dead trust ..to awaken the faith that has vacated your heart.....

But then destiny may be has other plans for you...Gods plans are always better than our own plans..and may be the love you think you have lost was never the one you really wanted...after all you never get what you dont deserve...and i believe a life in which your trust is broken is far better than the life where you never had the guts to allow yourself the liberty to trust and love someone...

PS: I am not having one..!!!

colors around us...

hey bloggy!!!

m back...with no bangs..only a heart with some pangs...oohhhh god m going crazy!!!!

now before everyone starts doubting my sanity i wanna say tht m perfectly fine..just a bit bewildered at the modus operandi of the functioning of this world...

for a typical filmy person like me the world is simply divided into black and white...there are good ppl and there are the baddies...and in the fairy dream world tht engulfed my mind the goodies outnumbered the baddies...

but sorry..!!..real life is no fairy land...and right from the time we were sperms we are competing,,!!

and to see the limits to which ppl can go down to compete, you need to enter the corporate world...mind you no cheating by entering a govt job!!..come face to face with brutal competition in the corporate life..the life in private sector...where your appraisal and incentives depend on how bad your competitors perform...

black and white diminish here and grey engulfs everyone.....the mean streak ..the calculative actions...now who says office politics dont exist everywhere..but at the age of 23 or 24 also if a person needs to play games and win rather then performing well at work then its time to do a reality check on ones self...havent we competed enuf with others in schools and colleges that even at a work place (touted to be sacred by ancient gurus..remember "work is worship") also we need to compete with others..???

excellence in anyones work can never be achieved by competing with others ..it is achieved by knowing and correcting your own strengths and weaknesses...wat good will someone elses defeat do to you if you are not capable enough to hold the winning trophy..???

a few days back i had a call from a senior colleague asking me to join a communication related team (a very god opportunity to get some rare limelight!!) and she told me tht she had called me earlier too wen she was unable to reach me and she had asked another colleague of mine to pass me her message..but again the culprit competition..i never got informed abt the call(and i know this colleague enuf to know that she hadnt forgotten abt the call..!)...anyways its not a big issue but still ppl without any morality and integrity are a bigger threat to our nation than all the terrorists of the world put together..

wen willl we understand tht competition is gud as long as u seek to improve as a result of it....

anyways ppl dont come in black and white and may be theres a silver lining under the dark grey color too!!!

i hate news storys..!

hi bloggy..

theres a redundant routine in the place i live...every morning a newspaper man throws a newspaper in my balcony..and i shove it under the table in my living room without even opening the band with which he ties the paper...

it astonishes everyone who visits me..as the newspapers have piled up under the table and hav created a world of their own,,a world of top stories..a world of breaking news...etc etc..

a few years ago, wen i was just out of school this was not so...i had the habit of not only reading the newspaper but devouring every small and big news tht made its entry in the paper...then i used to write the gist of watever i understood in a record book sort of thing...but tht was wen i read mindlessly...not understanding the impact of wat i read...

and wen i started understanding wat actually price hike was...wat coalition politics was all about...wat actually doping was...i gave up reading news...the way the newspapers convey news..it makes us believe tht the entire world is painted in either grey or black or rather the world is colorless...now, of course the newspapers are merely carrying the news and not creating it..but still i cud nvr find pleasure in reading the morning dose of mishaps...

i found my own ways of being abreast with current affairs...some frnds who are news addicts do manage to drool it out to me..and i take in wat i find interesting and later read or hear news related to tht stuff...i might appear to b acting irrationally but this is just a choice tht i hav made to hav the right to selective news....

by chance, i opened the paper today ...and wat did i read.??...rail mishap..hockey coach sex scandal...green activist murder....and i closed the paper 35 seconds after i had opened it...!!!

i guess m not missing much... other than the eligible grooms in matrimonial section...!!!

It happened to me...

The night was magical...purely magical , enchanting and mersmerising...
the moon shone brightly outside the glass window..the window had no bars or grills..just glass shutters with heavy curtains which at that time were drawn...

the road below the window was absolutely lonely..no human being, no animal. no one was there..only the tall palm trees were swaying to the cool breeze blowing....
standing at the window sill, i cud feel the air kissing my tresses left open..my face ,wud at times get covered by my hair which i would then push back with my fingers...
i looked at the moon..it was shining in its full glory..beautifying the black sky and also lighting the dark road...

slowly i closed my eyes with the image of the lovely moon in my eyes..wen i opened my eyes, i saw a shadow on the road..i brought my head out of the window to get the source of the shadow..but i cud see no one..
i strained my neck and eyes a bit more..only to find someone walking away on the road in the opposite direction..was it a man? or a woman?..i think it was a woman because something of her dress was flowing in the wind....
but the woman was walking away from me while the shadow was coming towards me..!!!...
the woman, strangely, did not cast a shadow at alll....
and the shadow surprisingly did not have a body...
both were walking in the opposite directions...

unable to contain my curiosity i just rushed downstairs on the road...and wen i reached there, the shadow came nearer and nearer and then it just crossed me!!....it walked through me....
in a complete state of fear and palpitation, a stream of sweat engulfed my entire being and i stood there shivering on a may night..
wen i tried to see the distant woman walking away..i cud see no one..and i ran towards the path where i had seen the woman convinced tht the shadow had something to do with the woman....

but i cud find nothing and so panting with fatigue...i turned back..and wat did i see...the same woman..!! right behind me....unclear face...unkept hair...ugly hands....
and then ,,,she brought her hands closer to my neck....and my heart leapt out..and a sudden loud noise entered my ears.......
her hands were by then firmly lanted on my neck..i tried to free myself from her grip but she overpowered me.....
my mouth was open..eyes were out like marbles....i desperately wanted to scream but cud not...
my voice did not just come out of my mouth...
and the loud noise just burst my ears...and then ,,,,and then,,,i woke up ot the sound of my alarm clock...sweating profusely..with eyes wide and happy to realise that it was a nightmare i can never forget....

The times of now....

hellow bloggy!!
life in these times has become so complicated tht even though i hav made it a point to write only positivities in my blog i hav to point out the cons of being born in this generation...
our parents were born and brought up with limited choices ,,,limited means and limited options...but we hav been served with so many options on our platter tht we hav the option to remain confused!!!

our fathers never had the luxury to think abt doing a job or becoming an entrepreneur..but we haV the time and resources to decide wat to do and wat not to do...we can shock them with our decisions to become a DJ or an RJ!!!

our mothers were brought up with education only to b able to teach their kids....but we..the girls of today hav been educated as much as our male counterparts..nd hav an option of becoming the bread winner in our homes...leading to another complicated ego clashes...as men will always be men...and its not just abt male egos...its abt our own recognition of our potentials tht makes us very prone to ego attacks...

coed education was never given much impetus earlier...leading to arranged marriages as the only recourse to be taken...but wen we hav frnds of both genders and an option to know the other person well before choosing him/her to marry we get another complication of parents not agreeing to intercaste marriages....
as Chetan bhagat says in Two states ..why dont parents understand intercaste marriages as an opportunity to love some more ppl....???...

with the rising prices..the need for both spouses earning has also risen..leading to more complications as to who will relocate his/her job for the other one...

so we just live in a world of complications....yet all izz well..as they say..life is not a bed of roses...u winsome u lose some...and at the end life is about living and not complaining!!!

PS:

just wondering wat my kids will b like as they are again gonna b the Gen Next...!!!

my today is my "present"..

hey bloggy..

was just wondering how many minutes in a day do we live in the moment..??..how many times do we bask in the enjoyment of our present..??...

strangely enough most of the times we are either fretting over the past or worrying about the future...observing my ownself ...i found i wasted the whole day in either contemplating my past mistakes or planning my future moves...the today i had in hand just slipped off in the meanwhile and i was left with one day less to live..!!!

we plan our money..our investments...our career choices..etc etc....but we never plan our present...the one reason our today is called "present" is bcoz thts the only gift from god tht is in our hands or rather our control...

the today i hav is the tomorrow i was worrying abt yesterday and the yesterday i will be complaing about tomorrow...

its just a viscious cycle tht continues all our life through....

at the end life is just about the times u hav stopped in rains to feel the drops on ur face....the times u hav stopped to smell the blooming flowers in the garden next to ur house...the times u hav stopped at ur workplace to hug a friend who's depressed...the times u hav stopped to make a surprise call to your mother to just say that u love her.....the times u hav just stopped your mind to jump into dirty puddles and jump like a child..

life is abt stoppping at the right times and not mindless running after things that are in no ways going to give u or ur loved ones a smile...

life is plainly about living and loving...making the most of the today you hav in your hands...

Happy living..!!!!

hi bloggy..

hav been addicted to the habit of writng diaries since i was a kid...and m seeing this blog as an extension of tht habit...

just looked outside my window and saw raindrops falling on the pane...the sound of thunder still scares me ...in a way it reminds me of the monsoons i hav enjoyed at home...wen i used to be fully drenched while coming back from college ...throw the wet clothes on the bed...ignoring moms pleas to keep the wet stuff out i used to just jump into the study and wet the whole carpet...!..

rememberin a poem i scribbled long ago...

i know they have gone..

and will never return...

the days of my mischief...

the days of my fun..

the dolls of my childhood..the dreams of my childhood....

i can forget everything ..but never the days of my childhood..

a little girl..all by herself..playing amidst dolls...

comes in my dreams..and then i recall..

shes none other than me..

her world was different..with no interferences from the bitter truths of life..

the girl has now grown up..with new hopes and dreams..

she has a new aim..to secure prestige and esteem...

but still wen i'm free...

i can see her somewhere...playing and dancing amidst dolls...

with no one around to disturb her peace..

and bring her into a world of reality...